July 17, 2011

My Dinner With Steven

They say you should never meet your heroes. Chances are they'll destroy whatever preconceived notion you have of them. Being that I'm a fan of comedy, I had no such fear when I intrepidly tweeted Steven Weber the other night.

A little background, for those unfamiliar with Mr. Weber's filmography. He rose to prominence in the mid-90s as the zany, wacky Brian Hackett on NBC's Wings. Remember "Must See TV?" Yeah, Wings was right before that. And then he parlayed that into trying to do a better job as Jack Torrance than Jack Nicholson did. One good thing that the TV remake of The Shining did was put to rest the eternal debate of who the finer actor was: Steven Weber or Jack Nicholson.

Oh, and remember how NBC rolled out those two shows that were about Saturday Night Live? One became incredibly successful and critically acclaimed. The other, Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, was the one Steven Weber was on. He basically played the same role that Alec Baldwin portrays on 30 Rock, except he boldly decided to not be funny in his portrayal.

So, as most know, I've decided my main purpose on Twitter is bothering celebrities. I bait and bait and troll and troll, and they don't respond. Diddy, in particular, is an asshole. So imagine my surprise, when, I sent out this little nugget the other night:

Well, this is not the sly, wise cracking Samuel Webbing I remember from WINGS! Seriously thinking about unfollowing!

And I got this in return:

"@SylisP Well, this is not the sly, wise cracking Samuel Webbing I remember from WINGS! Seriously thinking about unfollowing!" ...the fuck?

For those not familiar with Twitter, Steven Weber quoted what I said and replied "...the fuck?" So, yeah, that energized me. I figured, hey, this guy is allegedly a comedian, he probably gets what I'm doing and is playing into it. Cool. Let's have some fun! So I tweeted:

 @TheStevenWeber Don't play coy. You were our answer to the harsh reality of Paul Reiser. Now you're working blue? No sir! NO SIR!
To which I got this:
@SylisP ...anybody else seeing this? She's 70 and wearing a tube top!!!!

@TheStevenWeber What in the name of Thomas Hayden Church has happened to you?


@SylisP Everyone hates you.

Ouch. This is where I'm figuring he's catching feelings. But why? If he's really that upset at my gentle ribbing, all he has to say is "Hey, asshole, I banged Crystal Bernard." Whether true or not, there's nothing I could ever say to top that. The guy has a very active career, doing something I only wish I could do. And yet, here he is getting bitter on Twitter.

@TheStevenWeber I'm gonna have a word with the head of 4am programming at the USA Network about this!
@SylisP How will you be able to do that from your toll booth?
@SylisP Even when you shout, it's not funny. Tell mommy to come pick you up. You have choir in the morning.
So he's clearly taking some of this to heart. Ya know, like the fact that a show he did 15 years ago is still on in syndication. What a wicked burn that was by me! So I decide to smooth things over with a reference to Andy Kaufman, that someone of Mr. Weber's show business experience should get:

@TheStevenWeber Just so you know, we were all part of a "happening." Everyone was in on it. #andykaufman Seriously, loved WINGS.
That's when he blocked me from following him. He. Blocked. Me. From. Following. Him. Because I made jokes that HE decided to make public by responding to them. And the kicker is, I got a few followers of his to follow me based on all this nonsense. This will likely be the only time I get to say this, but: I beat Steven Weber. So since his followers were now following me as well, I decided to take one last parting shot:

 I think when I invoked Thomas Hayden Church @TheStevenWeber thought I was coming at him #Sideways. #Ether

Update! Steven Weber has not only blocked me from following him, he's deleted all of his tweets towards me. Almost as if someone realized they were being an unfunny douchebag that doesn't understand how interacting with human beings works. I know the tweets that I got from complete strangers were somewhat vicious. I can only imagine what people were saying to him.

Fuck it. You win, Steven Weber. But then, you always do. I've moved on. What up, Diddy?

1 comment:

  1. Wow, interesting read. Steven's a great actor, ever seen 'Mournin' Mess' from Tales from the Crypt? But talent aside, he's always been... odd. In interviews, it seems like he is very insecure and gets easily offended, passive aggressive even. But even with his quirks, he still has made it pretty far. He usually gets a lot of venomous hate because he writes for The Huffington Post, so that could explain his outburst.
    But man, you're not very funny. Your tweets to him were pretty lame.