Hello. Been a while. I'm writing this at 4:50am on a Monday. Not sure I'll even publish this. If you don't believe me, I have about 20 other posts written in a similar time and place that will likely never see the light of day. Some of them are actuall quite good, too. Anyways, this is just gonna be a lil refresher course to bring yall (and myself) up to speed on what's been going on the last few months.
So, I guess the biggest development is that I've been doing stand up comedy the last couple of months. As in, in the real world. Not the internet. Where the feedback is immediate and uncomfortable. But it can also be incredibly gratifying and intoxicating. I'm still very much a novice, so what I relay shouldn't be taken as the professional's guide to stand up comedy. It is merely, humbly, one person's experience thus far.
My first time, I don't remember being nervous. I remember being wet. Very wet. From the rain outside. But nervous? Not really. Because adrenaline was shooting through my veins at an unsustainable pace. And yet, it did sustain. For a few hours, even. I'm not sure what the joke was that got me my first laugh. Afterwards, another comedian kinda "big leagued" me, as though he didn't have time for me and my simple questions. Another complimented me on my set, while correcting me on one of my punchlines. And a random person outside let me know he thought I was funny. Even if none of that had happened, I think I still would have left the bar that night with the same conclusion: "This is it. This is what I want to do."
It is. I know that makes me sound like an overly optimistic sap. Trust me, I have no delusions of building some comedic empire based off of my wits. But, I know that that goal is something worth working towards. And it's work that I want to do. For much of my life, I've been given suggestions (like many of you reading this, I'm sure) as to what people think I should do. I'd demure, as to not offend. But part of that was because I simply didn't know what I wanted to do.
One of my favorite things about doing stand up, to this point, is getting unexpected laughs. I don't mean jokes that you don't think are funny getting laughs. As an example, recently I told a joke that had the word "twat" in it. And I told this joke to an overwhelming crowd of 9 people. And one of them happened to be an elderly grandmother who was there with her granddaughter. And I'll be damned if she didn't burst out laughing at the word twat. And why shouldn't she? Twat is a funny word, regardless of age. My point is, that kind of threw me off, and made me have to deal with a situation I didn't plan for. That's the kind of stuff I really like about telling jokes to complete strangers. The unpredictability.
This is getting to be kind of self-aggrandizing and meandering. So lemme make sure I say what I need to say.
I don't know what I expected when I told people I was doing stand up comedy. It's not like I expected my friends and family to tell me not to bother. Certainly not. But, I think I kind of anticipated a decent amount of apathy. I wouldn't blame 'em. This is one of those classic pipe dream type deals. But that's not what happened.
The overwhelming response I've gotten from people in my life has been incredibly positive and supportive. I've been especially touched (nh) by people that were kind of on the fringe of my day-to-day life, people that I maybe hadn't talked to for a while, taking a legitimate interest in what I was doing. Part of it might be the allure of doing something as interesting as stand up comedy. But I think part of it is also a genuine desire on their part to see me do well at something I enjoy. And that's meant the world to me.
So, this is to you. If you've come to see me tell jokes, thank you. Even if you've continually promised to see me and it's yet to happen, thank you. That you're even thinking about me means a lot. If you've simply asked me how a set went, thank you. If you've reassured me that I am, in fact, funny, after a particularly rough night, thank you. If you've ever held me and told me I'm hilarious, thank you. If you've volunteered to organize a bus trip to see me tell jokes, THANK YOU. If you're a comedian who took the time to answer my annoying questions, thank you.
Re-reading, this post is very self-indulgent. Fuck it. It's my blog. If I can't indulge myself, what's the point? It's funny. People tend to have a misconception of me as being someone incapable of genuine sincerity. I guess because I use humor in a lot of situations. That's kind of frustrating to me, because that's the only way I know how to communicate, through humor. So I have to do things like writing a blog to convey my appreciation for people taking the time for my silly comedy.
I can't promise that I'll always make you laugh. Hell, I can't promise that I'll always be funny. The only thing I can (and do) promise is that I'll try my damndest to make you laugh. To make your shitty day just a little less shitty. To maybe take your mind off your problems, and put 'em onto mine, so you can laugh, if only momentarily. That, I think, is the purpose of humor. It's an immediate reprieve from responsibility. Both for the one delivering it and those receiving it. And if I can be just a small part of that going forward, I'll be happy. Of course, if I can do that while being incredibly wealthy, all the better.
Thank you (sincerely),